Posted by: Tricia | Saturday, November 29, 2008

You have GOT to be kidding me.

My boys are back! And my mood is so much better now. I’m so happy to have my house full again…full of laughter, full of sweet hugs & kisses, full of…kids.

And not even my stupid-ass IX can ruin it. Despite his efforts a little earlier. He called me.

“Hello?”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m OK.”

“I just wanted to check on you after you seemed so despondent this morning when I dropped the boys off.” [And kudos to him for using such a big word...and even halfway correctly!]

“No, I’m OK now. I just didn’t have the best Thanksgiving.”

“OK then. So…”

Excruciatingly long pause.

“So….I just wanted to gauge where you are about the boys. I was thinking it might be better if I had them full-time.”

WTF???

“I was just thinking I might be able to offer a more stable environment for them.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah…with two parents.”

I shit you not…that’s what he said. What an effing moron. I went off on him.

“You left us to be with her. She is your mistress. She will always be your mistress. She is not their mother. She could never be their mother. I am their one and only mother. Don’t ever refer to her as any sort of a mother to them. Are you going to pursue this in the court?”

“No, not now. I don’t have any money to do that.”

“Why are you doing this? Haven’t you destroyed enough of me already?”

“I just want to be a full-time dad. I want to be involved more in the lives of my sons.”

“Well, you had that opportunity, and you walked away.”

“Well, when [the RK] is 13, the court will listen to where he wants to live.”

“Not with that as the only factor, it won’t.”

“I just think I could offer them a more stable life, that’s all.”

Who’s to say their life already isn’t stable? We have a home, in a safe neighborhood, the RK has friends, he goes to a good school. He goes to bed with a full belly every night, in a house that isn’t in danger of having the electricity turned off or us being evicted.

I ask the RK if his dad has been talking about this with him. He says, “Yeah, in a couple of years.”

Again…WTF??

Who the hell does he think he is?

So of course, I feel like I have to discuss it with the RK as well. Lord knows what kind of shit the IX is filling the RK’s head with…I feel I have to do whatever I can to counteract that.

Oh…and then there was the part of this phone conversation with the IX where he brought the child support he pays into it. He says “he” pays the mortgage. No, I tell him, you pay child and spousal support. I pay the mortgage. I’m the one that sends the check in. Then he counters with: but you wouldn’t be able to pay it without those child support payments I make.

No, but I wouldn’t be able to pay it without my own income, either.

Where in the hell does he get off saying his child support payments are earmarked specifically to pay the mortgage? Why not our other bills…like heat, water, electricity, etc.? What a jackass. The court orders him to pay that child support…what I do with it is at my discretion. And yes, I use his payments, along with my own income, to pay the mortgage.

And all of our other bills as well.

I asked him a long time before all that if he was doing this for financial reasons, and of course he said no. But later on in the conversation when he played that ridiculous and completely unfounded child support card, and along with all of his own well-documented financial woes as of late, I’d beg to differ.

[Ed. note: There are two separate links above...one is attached to the words 'well-documented' and the other is 'financial woes'.]

I have to admit, though, I’m scared. I have got to find a way to get out from under his thumb, financially speaking. The way it’s set up now, the only way he can stop his child support payments is if he loses his job. And surely he’s not stupid enough….no….he can’t be. God, please don’t let him prove me wrong!

Stupid, selfish, sorry excuse for a father.


Responses

  1. I TOTALLY get it! You are telling my story…or at least how it began. It would begin with stories like that…”Dad said when I get older, I can choose where I want to live…” and it has gone to dad now yelling at me, verbally abusing me in front of my son, making sure everything is peachy keen and fun, fun, fun over there so that when I tell him to brush his teeth, or put his coat on, I resemble the nagging bitch from hell.

    This week, my son’s psychogist told me to come in session too. It became so clear when my son said “I ONLY get to spend 72 days a year with my dad!” (His dad gets him 3 weekends a month). I immediately looked at him, and said “where in the heck did you even come up with a number like that??”

    I have been doing some reading on parental alienation, as it fits for us. My son told the psych that his motivation was to drive me away with hatred so he could go live with his dad.

    I wish I had begun to document when all the abusrdities first began to emerge. You seem in a better spot to do that than I.

    This part of the ride truly sucks! I get that, for sure.

  2. Take his ass down, Tricia. He’s just trying to get out of making child support payments. He’s in financial trouble, and can’t stand that you are stable and making mortgage payments and doing good, while he’s writing a check to you for the kids each month, and then not doing so good for himself. He’s just trying to find a way to get out of giving up part of his money each month. He sees having the kids as a way to get out of child support payments and keep more of his money.

    Go barracuda, girl.

  3. This really got me riled up because my ex left me for another woman too (though he claims he never cheated). He is Father of the Year to her two kids, they call him daddy…etc..Now he’s tryin to neatly insert our daughter into their happy little family, and he’s in for a rude awakening.

    Grrr. One parent does NOT equal UNSTABLE parent. I wish this notion would VANISH from the heads of courts, exs and mass society. It makes me want to puke.

    Mother is family and your kids know it.

  4. I want to go kick this guy’s ass FOR you. Prick. Document every single slipup on his part from this day forward, if you’re not already doing so. Late pickups, his bankruptcy, things you notice that don’t sit right. EVERYTHING. In case you need it.

    How DARE he. I’m outraged for you. Seriously.

    Let this be your fuel to leave him in the dust as the better parent.

  5. Wow. Trish I’m so sorry that you have to go through that. I’m so fortunate that me and my ex get along – all things considered.

    When I was a kid, I remember going through that with my biological father feeding me a bunch of crap just to piss off my mom and try to get out child support payments. I remember him telling me I could call his “new” wife “mom.” Hell no!

    In the end, he just gave up on us altogether, which is probably why I value my time with my son so much. I ended up having a great step-dad who later adopted me, but you never forget the feeling of abandonment that comes when a parent willingly gives you up.

    And now, as a father myself, I don’t know how the hell you could just give up on your child – your flesh and blood? WTF is that about? Oh well, I was better off without him.

    I hope your situation gets better, but regardless, you just keep being a great mom to your kids and try not to stoop to his level. Your kids will see him for what he is (apparently not much) eventually.

    Keep the faith (and an attorney)!

  6. So, he wants to be a full-time Dad to his kids, and not pay you half his income. And there is something wrong with this? We alll know that the divorce court system is horribly biased against single fathers. Of course he wants a more equitable deal.

  7. Wow! I wishy wash on this deal here! My SE had a nine year old when we met. Was amazied that I befriended her but my reasoning was, she is YOUR child’s mother and will be in our life forever! Better to know her that not!

    I like her, mu SE hates’ her; ergo, I’m in the middle? Yeah, brilliant move Robin. C is not 15 and it’s not better!

    Yeah sweetie, we sued her for custody when she married an man with six children AND he put a boot mark on the back of her second son’s back. He was abusive, there were 4 other children living there and “my” child was in harms way and his mother wouldn’t let go of this “new” man in her life.

    I was the bitch on the other side of your argument. But you must admit, if he phycisally abused her second son (not my SE’s) then who’s to say C wasn’t next? We didn’t win because we live out of state and he’s never left his hometown and yada yada…and she left the a-hole (which is all we wanted!). It wasn’t malicious!

    So now she’s taking us back to court for child support after the first. We payed $384 s month until the custody hearing and the judge looked at our income and reduced it to $195…which totally pi8ssed her off. I know it takes way more to raise a child than that. But she gets weekly manicures, lives in a house her parents pay for and C, (the son) lives with his grandparents (one block away) I’ve taken the “excess” for our child support reduction and put it into a savings for him. If child support goes up? I’ll be happy to pu8t his grandparents name on the check.

    She works “part time” at a truck stop, suffers from “migraines”, and gets weekly manicures and hair-do’s. SE’s son lives with his grandparents who feed him, try and discipline him and she wants to sue for more support?

    He’s got a bank account with money…and we’d be happy to give his support to someone who will help him. I know that his c hild support should go to mortgage, electriciity, and water, necessary things to have when you raise a child.

    So I am bitter on the other side of you! But you gotta admit, we both have a point! But for the record? I don’t the the IX wants custody just to avoid child support. I think he has grand illusions that he could actually handle ilt! Mis guided bastard!

    I love my step son, a lot…and I like his Mom, I’m in love with his Dad (they’d been apart for 6 years before I entered the picture!)….and my SE is pretty easy to get along with, not in this case. I am smack dab in the middle of parents who WILL not get along (she tries) and hate one another…I see it effect Clayton, he thinks the fact that me and his mom are friends it’s awsome.

    there is no such thing as “ex-parents” like there is “es-spouses”. As a stepmom I would never try to supercede his Mom’s place in his life. I’ve made my own. He call’s me “Robin” and he calls me when he needs to. That’s how it should be. I got him when he was 8 and washed his hair in the tub and rubbed lotion on his eczema back!

    He asked me then who I was and what he should call me…I siad, “How about Robin for now…and I just want to be your friend….you can decide later what to call me.” Later, became “evil stepmom” He still calls me that! We laugh!

    He thinks it’s cool to be able to love everyone in his life without guilt.. The fact his Mom and I are firends means the world to him. I’m gonna shut up now!

    It was just weird, I’ve been on the “parent’ side of this…and now I’m evil stepmom.

    You’re awesome babe…don’t let anyone tell you different!

  8. Wendy — I think I’ll take that advice and start keep a record of stuff like this. I’m sorry things are so ugly for you, and I thank you for sharing your voice of experience.

    Pisceshanna — thanks. I need the encouragement.

    J-Fo — hey girl! He is a prick. I’ll let you know where he lives if you ever have a spare can of whoop-ass layin’ around.

    Gary — thanks for stopping by! Stuff like this that he pulls is indeed my fuel, and I’m counting on my kids being smart enough to discern fact from fiction as they mature. I have made it a point not to stoop to his level, and I treat him way better than what he deserves. The boys are watching us both…and I’m doing the best I can to carry on with dignity & integrity.

    willie — ‘Equitable’, you say. That’s funny.

    Robin — girl, had you had a little nip or two of egg nog when you wrote that comment? I really couldn’t make too much sense out of it. (Go back and read it again…feel free to clean it up if you like.)

    But you do remember one thing, don’t you? He had an affair with this woman he’s now living with while he was still married to me. And not to mention that this woman was my best friend (or so I thought), and was already a very big part of the RK’s life. The IX chose her over his family and walked away.

    Nope…I don’t see your point at all. Sorry.

  9. uggh, my ex only wants to have time with the kids when he thinks it will lessen the child support as well. damn men and their stupid money.

    so sorry, you are going through this.

    it sucks doesn’t it, when you work so hard.

    hang in there.

  10. I wanna weigh in with some advice to try to avoid upping the ante. I do agree with ya that you have the “right” to do so. But attacking him isn’t going to do anything other than make you feel worse, justify the “poisonous ex” image that he’s buying and selling, and add enormous amounts of stress and angst to your kids.

    Don’t be a doormat, by any means. But don’t go ballistic, either. Anger and hatred never bear good results. Courts see parents escalating back & forth all the time. It’s a welcome surprise when they see a non-custodial father who’s trying to gain custody… and the custodial mom isn’t trying to crucify him but instead is just continuing to be a great mom.

    I think that your best approach is to vent and then let go, continue to do damage control with RK, and let your ex have his fantasies. If you buy into his soap opera and get too caught up in rage it plays you into his hands.

    Do document. Do be cautious. But don’t try to take him down. You can’t, and even if you could it’s gonna have enormous impact on your kids. This isn’t actually about you. It’s about your kids. They’re the ones who end up taking the brunt of the damage when their parents fight. You can’t stop your ex from trying to fight. But you are the only one who can choose how you respond. Bitterness isn’t the right response, even after all he’s done and all he’s doing.

    It’s also possible that RK will try to love his step-mom. That’s an incredible sacrifice for you to have to make and it’s totally unfair. I’m reminded of a movie I saw a few years ago where the bio-mom was filled with well-justified bitterness against the woman her ex was with. After a particularly enraged rant, her kid said to her, “Mom, I’ll hate her if you want me to.”

    RK doesn’t need to adopt your hatred for the woman his dad loves. It’s totally unfair to ask you to let him learn to love her… but can you try, for his sake?

    As far as child support… there’s no such thing as equity. Child support is a method of spreading the pain around a little… it’s not a way to be “fair”. I fully agree with whomever posted that single dads get screwed. We do, for sure. But that’s okay, ’cause we can take it. There are enough utter deadbeat dads out there that a halfway decent single dad won’t mind bearing the extra burden that the system is designed to put on ‘em. Your ex isn’t yet a halfway decent dad as far as this goes. But that doesn’t matter; the system will continue to demand his payments regardless of his feelings about that, so you’re fairly well-covered.

    I learned very quickly to consider child support as “the kids’ money”. I pay it and it immediately ceases to be mine. It’s theirs, and their mom allocates it. As long as they aren’t suffering, what she spends it on is totally in her yard. It was really tough when I couldn’t afford milk but she was taking an annual vacation to France. She buys new furniture every year, has a big-screen TV and an upscale house/garage/yard, while I live with a roommate in a small apartment with 4 bunk-beds in “my” room… but that’s okay ’cause my sons have clothes and food and all that they need (and then some).

    Lots of non-custodial parents have huge issues with how “their” money is spent. That’s silly, though (unless there’s neglect or something). When I make a payment it’s not mine anymore; that’s just the nature of payments. :) Your ex is wrong to try to control or have some jurisdiction over how your kids’ Child Support is sent. Let himi be wrong; it’s his right to do so. Just let it go. That’s the beauty of divorce. You don’t have to hang on to this crap unless you choose to do so.

    I’m not sticking up for him. I think what he’s doing is deplorable. And because of that, you’re required to sacrifice a lot of bitterness, hatred and angst. It’ll make you a better person to do this… but that’s not the main reason to do it. The main reasons are your kids. It’s terrible for them to watch, hear, and (most importantly) sense the bitterness and angst between the two people whom they love the most, and whom they rely on for virtually every need that they have.

    And, if their dad loves someone else, they’re going to naturally learn to do the same. Can you let them?…

    This is painful and unfair and traumatic stuff. Hang in there. Be a great mom. Take care of yourself. You’ve got people who care about you and who earnestly wish you well. You’re doing well, so keep your chin up and keep doing well.

  11. underthebigbluesky — thanks. I’ll hang in as long as it takes!

    Scott — WHA-HA? Where did you get the idea I was going to fight back? If it was the comment I made to J-Fo about the can of whoop-ass, that was a joke! I’m already doing & not doing everything you suggested.

    As for the homewrecker, she just doesn’t exist to me anymore. She’s not even worth the energy it would take for me to hate her. The RK and I have talked about what her role in this whole thing was, and how much she hurt me as well, and he understands why I no longer have any positive feelings for her whatsoever. Well, in an 11-year-old way.

    I don’t have a vengeful bone in my body. I’m fine with letting him run his own life into the ground all by himself, and I’d say he’s doing a fine job. But I will bare my teeth whenever he talks about taking my kids away from me.

    Scott, I really do appreciate your feedback and advice, but I have to say that this time, you’re way off the mark.

    And the movie is Stepmom. And Ed Harris didn’t leave Susan Sarandon because of Julia Roberts. He met her after the divorce. BIG difference.

  12. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttt! YOU SHOULD HAVE DRIVEN TO HIM AND SLAPPED HIS AZZ SLEEP!

    I AM ENRAGED AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU! THE HELL IS HE SMOKING?????

    Sheesh!

  13. Oy….this will come back to bite him in the you know what.

  14. I’m here through CreoleInDC’s link.

    I’m sorry that you’re going through that Tricia…I know your pain on a personal basis and am no way the better woman that you are….in my case the situation has worn me down to the point where I don’t play nice anymore. I got pissed off just reading your story.

    I could write a couple of pages at least to show you not only how similar our stories are but some of the other levels of stupidity that can be reached.

    Stay strong…his bs will trip him up in the long run.

  15. Wow via CreoleInDC’s spot. I’ve also experienced the life of dealing with an adulterous IX.

    Sounds like you’re doing the right things. Remaining positive and venting when necessary. I will say that he absolutely should WANT to be more a part of his kids life, tho I don’t know the extent to which he is now.

    If you want I know some gals, we can get together and go tar feather his tail! :-D

  16. Here via Creole in DC…

    Goodness!!! Are you serious?? As i read this post…my mouth just feel open!!!! Is he FRIGGIN SERIOUS??????

    Oh God…just ew! I will so keep you in my prayers, that is some bull ish if I ever heard it! How DARE HE??? How friggin DARE HE?

    Just…no words. No words, man!

    Keep ya head up! Things will work out for the best. He is an asshole! Just in case you didnt know! ;) Just ew!

    Who the [blank]…what kind of [blank]… seriously????

    Dude!! SERIOUSLY??!! He SAID that??? I’m in disbelief that his mouth SAID that!!!!

    Ending my ramble now… I’m a single mom too…and I cannot IMAGINE!!!!

  17. Scott wrote:
    >> I wanna weigh in with some advice to try to avoid upping the ante. I do agree with ya that you have the “right” to do so. But attacking him isn’t going to do anything other than make you feel worse, justify the “poisonous ex” image that he’s buying and selling, and add enormous amounts of stress and angst to your kids.

    Tricia wrote:
    > Scott — WHA-HA? Where did you get the idea I was going to fight back? If it was the comment I made to J-Fo about the can of whoop-ass, that was a joke! I’m already doing & not doing everything you suggested.

    Oy, sorry for coming through poorly. I wasn’t advising based on what you were posting. I was advising based on the advice you were receiving. Wow, since my first post you’ve received even more. I wanted to offer a counter-opinion to those who were advising you to go ballistic on the ex. Not ’cause you seemed interested in doing so, just ’cause you were getting so much well-meant advice to embrace bitterness. I believe that embracing bitterness hurts you way more than it hurts him, plus the effects ripple out to his kids.

    > As for the homewrecker, she just doesn’t exist to me anymore. She’s not even worth the energy it would take for me to hate her.

    Your writing indicates different emotions from the apathy that ya claim above. That’s not a criticism; why the hell wouldn’t you hate her still?

    Read these posts to see some of what I’m talking about:
    “You left us to be with her. She is your mistress. She will always be your mistress. She is not their mother. She could never be their mother. I am their one and only mother. Don’t ever refer to her as any sort of a mother to them.”

    Whenever you refer to her, you do so consistently in a derogatory and angry manner. So would I! “the homewrecker” isn’t used descriptively, it’s used aggressively. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, at all! But I’m not sure why you claim that she doesn’t exist to you, when it seems pretty obvious that you’ve got a great deal of emotion toward her… as any injured spouse would have. If I were in your shoes I’d be trying to pretend that I didn’t hate the dude my wife had RUNOFFT with, despite offering clear evidence that I did, indeed, hate her. Do you see any of that going on, maybe? It’s very hard to tell from just posts. Ya can’t really move through and eventually past strong negative emotions if you deny that they exist. I see powerful evidence of them existing, but you insist that they don’t. What gives?…

    > The RK and I have talked about what her role in this whole thing was, and how much she hurt me as well, and he understands why I no longer have any positive feelings for her whatsoever. Well, in an 11-year-old way.

    That’s awesome! Way to be a communicative mom!

    > I don’t have a vengeful bone in my body.

    Your writing doesn’t agree with that claim, though. Is it a wish, or do you really believe that? If you had the chance to ruin her relationship with your ex, would you honestly turn aside and let them be? If you had the chance to slap her face, would you do it? In your shoes, after such a short time, I would be vengeful, without any doubt. Maybe in 2 years the goal of “no vengeful inclinations” is a realistic thing to shoot for, but right now it sounds like you’re trying for something that’s just too much to ask of anyone.

    > I’m fine with letting him run his own life into the ground all by himself, and I’d say he’s doing a fine job. But I will bare my teeth whenever he talks about taking my kids away from me.

    As well you should… though honestly, I cannot imagine a court that would give the slightest credence to his “two parents” claim when you’ve been dedicating your life to them while he enjoyed a honeymoon period with his mistress.

    > Scott, I really do appreciate your feedback and advice, but I have to say that this time, you’re way off the mark.

    Um, okay. *shrug* Feedback that’s rejected can’t be pounded in. :) I hope it’s okay if I keep calling it like I read it, but if I do offend please just let me know (however ya like) and I’ll totally back off. Your blog is your space and I have no desire to bring contention to it. I think you’re awesome and a great mom and a wonderful lady and I’m totally on your side, even/especially when offering insights & opinions & constructive criticisms.

    > And the movie is Stepmom.

    Ooh, yeah, Stepmom!

    > And Ed Harris didn’t leave Susan Sarandon because of Julia Roberts. He met her after the divorce. BIG difference.

    So hate’s maybe okay to pass along to kids when there’s a good enough reason for it? That sounds like the difference you’re referring to.

    I know that I’m saying things that suck to hear. Please believe that I’m not saying them to accuse or to inflict pain. I’m saying them ’cause I think highly of ya and it makes me sad that you might be passing too much personal pain along to your kid when he’s not at fault for his dad’s choice to shove ex-mistress now-wife into the poor little guy’s life.

    I think you’re entitled to way more vitriol than you’ve aired. I’m way impressed at how well you’ve processed the oceans of emotional agony that were poured upon you. I’m not finding fault; I’m calling out areas that I perceive to be potentially damaging to the RK. I’ve been divorced twice and I’ve seen an ex-wife who moved across the continent and then refused to let my sons call me dad. It definitely hurt me, as she intended… but the impact on the kids was so much more severe than she could’ve imagined through her focus on her own bitterness, pain and rage. Kids are incredibly sensitive to this stuff, so I’m appealing to the mom in you rather than the injured wife in you. Trust me: your angst bleeds through very strongly in your posting. Kids are uncannily able to sense bitterness and rage, and it impacts them heavily. You can’t get rid of it totally… but insisting that it’s not there isn’t gonna help.

    Hang in there, and keep doing a great job!

  18. Scott: I am NOT vengeful. I would not, if given the opportunity, wreck their relationship. (I think they’re probably doing a pretty good job of it all on their own.) I wouldn’t even slap her face. I don’t go through my day dwelling on the bitch that she is, nor do I let what she has done keep me up at night. Really. It truly is a waste of my energy and valuable time.

    The RK and I don’t really talk about her, unless it’s just brief, casual conversation about his weekend with his dad. I don’t forbid him from mentioning her, and I respond and engage the RK even when her name comes up. Like I said, he and I have discussed the effects of her actions on me and how I feel about it all, and the issue is done. He gets it. And I don’t call her ‘homewrecker’ or any other derogatory name in front of him; I just don’t bring her up at all with him, really. I don’t hate her. I don’t wish her ill will. I do feel very, very sorry for her, though. Believe it or not…that’s up to you.

    Whether or not you believe it, the term ‘homewrecker’ is not used aggressively. I am SOOOO not an aggressive person. I don’t even like calling names; but in this case, I think I’ve earned the right. Simple as that. And I think she’s earned the moniker. And the IX has earned his. I could be calling them both a lot worse on here, after all.

    The IX is the one that presented the whole ‘two parent household’ scenario to me over the phone, and I simply reacted. And the RK was not privy to my side of the conversation. I will fight tooth and nail if the IX ever tries to reduce or dilute my role as the boys’ mother, and yeah…if he talks about her in any sort of maternal nature (that overrides mine like this did, anyway), I will go off on him. It has nothing to do with my personal feelings for her, but I’m just…ahem…reminding him that this idea he has of a ‘two-parent household’ is sick and twisted.

    No hate or bitterness is being demonstrated to my kids in any way. No laser beams shooting out my eyes, no abrupt and anxious reaction to the rare mention of her name….nothing. She has no place in our lives here.

    In my day-to-day life, I am the mom. This blog is my outlet to be the injured wife. And please take note that I don’t even write paragraph after paragraph or post after post about how much I hate the homewrecker on here. I mention her rather infrequently, actually. She really, truly, does not take up any meaningful percentage of my thoughts.

    And by the way, the IX and the homewrecker are not married. At least not that I know of.

    Just because you think I’m entitled to more ‘vitriol’ doesn’t mean I’m gonna take it. I have a lot of work to do to get my life how I want it, and that vitriol only wastes valuable time! Life is short, and I don’t want to spend any more time than I have to feeling negative emotions over the circumstances of my life. Emotions are there, yes, but I guess I’ve just gotten good at keeping them under control and redirecting my thoughts when it comes to the IX and her. I’ve got lots of other negative emotions unrelated to them to deal with!

    Scott, you are always welcome to comment here. But you are drawing conclusions that just aren’t accurate. Again…this is my outlet. It helps me stay whole and composed for my boys. And please know that while I appreciate and welcome all comments on here, I have good enough judgement to know what to heed and what to just acknowledge and move on.

  19. I don’t understand why you are justifying yourself here. You seem like a lovely person who was EXTREMELY wronged. That’s enough for me.

    Humph.

  20. Monnie — I just can’t help myself! In fact, one of my other personalities comes out and writes all that stuff, and I have no memory of it.

    I know. I need serious help. Shock therapy, maybe? ;-)

    I love your blog, by the way!


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