Janie over at Sounding Forth took part in an interview of sorts..and of her own free will! She answered some great questions posed by one of her readers, and then asked for volunteers (suckers?) that might like to be interviewed by her. I decided to throw my hat in the ring. Eh…it couldn’t be all that bad, right? You be the judge:
- You’ve been through a lot in the last couple of years. Where do you get your strength?
I think when it comes down to it, it comes from that love I have for my boys that is unique between a mother and her children. But that alone certainly isn’t enough. I have a very strong faith in a loving, nurturing, just God who I believe wants the best for me. I view this dark time of my life as a learning experience. He’s teaching me things right now that I wouldn’t have otherwise learned.
I had never been through anything truly horrible in my life…things had been going quite smoothly for me up to that point. A few years ago when I was really active in a local mega-church up here, I took the “Contagious Christianity” class, which was about how to share the good news of Jesus to others in a way that wasn’t put-offish, and that normal, everyday people might be more receptive to. One of the tactics this class taught was to use your own life experiences, especially the darkest times, as a testimonial to show how Jesus had guided you out of it. As I was doing the exercises, I realized that my darkest times weren’t really all that dark. I had never known any heartbreaking tragedy, or felt completely lost and helpless.
But it was on its way. I guess I view my entrance into single motherhood as a rite of passage…everyone goes through something where they come out a completely different person on the other side. I think that’s what this is for me. God’s growing me right now.
- I’ve been reading your blog since it’s inception, I think. You’re pretty forgiving, it seems. What are your thoughts on forgiveness, and what has shaped that?
Yes, you have been around since the infancy of The Silver Lining! I hold a very special place for you, dear Janie…you’ve been right there with me this whole time.
Oh, I am a forgiving person in general, but I in no way, shape, or form have forgiven the IX. I’m working on it. I still hold a lot of bitterness and blame towards him for what I’m going through right now, and really the only person that it’s hurting is me. As for the day-to-day crap that he pulls, I just pick my battles. I’ll fight tooth and nail with him for the wellbeing of the boys, but if it’s anything beyond that, I let it go. My life has had enough drama in it these last three years; I certainly don’t want to create anymore than I absolutely have to.
In general, I’m so ready to forgive if there is sincere remorse. People screw up; we’re human. We all have to learn lessons somehow, and due to our human nature, we usually pick the hard way that so often hurts those that we love. If you have the general intelligence to recognize what you did was wrong, you learn a lesson from it and change your ways, then I will forgive you. Once.
- What do you read?
Right now, not much of anything that has more words than pictures. I love to read, and have been known to knock out an entire 400 page book in a single weekend. I just don’t have the luxury of time for that right now.
Favorite reads in the last couple of years include both of Khaled Hosseini’s bestsellers The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, James Patterson’s Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas, and just about anything by Luanne Rice. I love fiction…I love plots that keep me turning pages. But I’ve also read plenty of non-fiction that has done just the same thing.
I’m addicted to MSNBC.com for news, and I get really excited anytime a new post from my favorite blogs pops up in my RSS reader. I spend entirely too much time on the computer!
- I know that music moves you – what’s your favorite type, and artist?
Oh, I go through general phases with what kind of music I’m listening to. I was raised on country, and will always hold a special place in my heart for the likes of Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, The Gatlin Brothers, Charley Pride, Conway Twitty, etc.
Right now my favorites are Marc Broussard (still coming off of seeing him live) & Los Lonely Boys. Others that are getting some play time on my iPod are 3 Doors Down, Ray Lamontagne, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Rascal Flatts, Norah Jones, Led Zeppelin, Keith Urban, John Mayer, White Stripes, Red Hot Chili Peppers, etc.
I can’t fail to mention that I do have quite a passion for classical music. I don’t really listen to it in my everyday life, though. I’d rather be playing it. I’ve had the privilege to play some of the greatest works out there…Beethoven’s 5th, The Barber of Seville, Shostakovich’s 5th, Scheherezade, and so many others. Right now if I listen to it, it just makes me sad.
- What do you do to help others?
Not as much as I should. Right now I’m more or less on the receiving end. I’m not exactly seeking out opportunities to volunteer my time or anything, but I’m always keeping my eyes peeled for those smaller opportunities that present themselves throughout the day. I love holding doors open for people with their arms full, or reaching something on a high shelf for a shopper in a wheelchair at the grocery store. It may not be much, but I love it if I can do even something small to make someone’s day a little better or easier.
- And – you know this one had to be in there – why did you start blogging?
I actually began blogging right when my marriage was on its last legs, and I didn’t know it yet. I could feel there was something seriously wrong between me and the IX, but every effort on my part to break through to him was failing. I needed an outlet, so I turned to an online journal. Maybe I’ll post the link on here sometime. I need to mull that one over first.
As I was dealing with the infidelity, moving into a new house, and being pregnant all at the same time, I had to let my blog go. Besides, I had let certain people know about it, and that came back to bite me in the ass. So when I got around to where I felt compelled to start another, I made a commitment to myself to keep it a secret from everyone I ever might want to blog about.
This blog was created mostly for me to have someone to talk to. Sorta. I love having someone to share my thoughts with, especially when something fires me up. And since my ex moved out, I haven’t really had anyone to do that with. So here I am!
- What do you think were the events, things, people that shaped your wickedly sweet sense of humor?
I think that’s where the Texan in me shines through the most. I love how Texans generally don’t take anything too seriously, and are always looking to make a laugh out of something that actually sucks. In fact, one of my favorite jokes about my divorce comes from the movie “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” I like to joke about how my husband “done R-U-N-N-O-F-T.”
I watch way too much TV, too. Sitcoms are one of my favorite genres, and I’ve gleaned little bits here and there that amused me and tuck them away for future use of my own. Friends has got to be my favorite show of all time, and I think I’ve got a little bit of each of the characters in me. Even Joey.
Basically, anything that makes me laugh, I try to turn it around and add my own unique flavor to make others laugh.
Plagiarism? Quite possibly.
- Aren’t little boys grand? Please elaborate…
Oh my…they’re so sweet, yet so rough and tough, too! They’re violently crashing cars and trucks on the floor one minute, and then snuggling on your lap the next. I never get upset about getting stopped at a train crossing if at least one of my boys is with me. Especially if we make it right before the train arrives and we get to hear it blow its whistle as it barrels through the intersection. Or one time last summer when we were at the local park right in the middle of our little town. A Harley came thundering through the quiet community, and the IB just roared with it! Now how can that sweet, tiny, precious little thing enjoy something so noisy (and some would argue) offensive? He’s a BOY, that’s how!
I was never a girly-girl. I hated playing with Barbies. I’d tell my mom to say I couldn’t come if a birthday party I was invited to was a dress-up or princess party. So the fact that I have boys is right up my alley!
- And last, but not least…what are the things you’re most grateful for?
Well, with the temperature in the single digits right now (and that doesn’t include wind chill), I’m SO thankful for this warm house. I’m grateful that my helpless little baby has warm jammies to sleep in in a warm crib. I’m grateful that we’re safe. I’m grateful that I can give both my babies a feeling of security. I’m SO grateful for my job! I’m still amazed that I have it. And I’m grateful I’ve been staying healthy to keep this family truckin’ along.
So there you have it. Janie, sorry it took me so long. But I know you know why. Thanks for taking the time to give such great questions! That actually wasn’t so bad.
Anyone else wanna play out there? I promise to be gentle. Sorta.