Posted by: Tricia | Friday, May 18, 2007

A little more about me

The days are turning into weeks, and the weeks into months so quickly! I can’t believe I’m already to another Friday. And in the middle of May already? Wow.

Even though I’m a stay-at-home mom, the weekends still hold a special significance for me…fun, relaxation, no worries. Although I really have more responsibilities on the weekends than I do during the week…I’m actually in charge of my nine-year-old instead of school. But he’s so much fun…he’s really a joy to have around, and I’m so lucky to be his mom.

I’ll refer to him as The Rotten Kid…RK for short. He hates it when I call him that. He used to be my Itty-Bitty, but much to my dismay, he outgrew that name. I love making him happy, which in turn, makes him rotten. But a good rotten…he’s very grounded, and has a good head on his shoulders. I love yanking his chain. I tell him that my sole purpose for living now is to torture him and drive him crazy. We have lots of fun.

I’m also pleased to report that the nickname of ‘Itty-Bitty’ has been taken once again in my life! Yup, that’s right, I also have an almost-nine-month-old son! He was a total surprise…well, given my circumstances at the time he was conceived, I’d say ‘shock’ is more appropriate of a word. I’m still a little in shock, too, over being a mom of two. I had been a mom to one child for so long, I’d gotten used to it. I was content with the RK being an only child…I was an only child, and I turned out OK. And then there’s that whole ‘doing my part to keep from overpopulating the world’ stance. This new addition to my life is amazing…making the RK a big brother is awesome. He was meant to be a big brother. He loves his baby brother so much! Watching the two of them grow a relationship is so amazing to me.

What is so devastating, though, is their father has decided he doesn’t want to live with us anymore. He and I are in the middle of divorcing, and I am deep in mourning for the death of my marriage. I am devastated over his breaking his promise to me when we got married that I would never be put in this position. Or my kids. I’ll be fine…I’m a big girl. But my sons miss their dad so much. Especially RK.

You see, he’s now living with who I thought was my best friend up here. And I have such very different feelings for each of them. I fought so hard to save my marriage for my kids, and for myself, but one thing I’ve learned is that it’s not all up to me. I’m getting to the point where I can imagine a new life for me, but some days it’s still very hard. I still have some serious issues with all this, but so far I think I’m doing as well as anyone can expect. My kids still have a happy life, despite their father being absent.

We just bought a house a little over a year ago, too. So imagine what I’m thinking about my husband having bought a house with me, and now he’s left it all for me to take care of. But I’m up for the challenge! It’s not the cleanest dwelling in the land, but it’s definitely not the nastiest, either. I recently learned how to operate a lawn mower, and I cut the grass all by myself. That was a HUGE one for me. I still have a long way to go, though.

I’m without the RK tonight. His Cub Scout den went on an excursion to spend the night on a WWII submarine docked over on the west coast of Michigan. So my idiot husband (IH) picked him up early from school and they headed out around 3:00 today. So I’m feeling a little lost right now! It’s kinda nice, too, though. I’ve got the Itty-Bitty in bed, and now my mommy responsibilities are done for the night. Hmmm….maybe I’ll have a cocktail…

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