Posted by: Tricia | Sunday, May 20, 2007

Can you hold it down? Mommy’s head hurts.

Oh my gosh, what a weekend! I’m so tired, I can hardly see straight. My body might be feeling the big hurt, but my soul has been refreshed.

The RK had a great time with his Cub Scout den on the submarine. He made it back around 1:00 on Saturday, just in time for us to go over to my best neighbor’s house for her daughter’s 2nd birthday party. They even rented an inflatable jumpy-house and set it up in the back yard. After the obligatory aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents left, it was just a handful of neighbors left over, and then the party really started. The beer started flowing, and the blender was blending with pina coladas, and we all sat out in the back yard with our chairs in a circle until at least midnight!

My neighbor has been so amazing to me. She has been through a nasty & painful divorce, and has truly become one of my dearest friends this past year. She has been a wonderful source of knowledge, advice, encouragement, and support. She lives diagonally across the street, and one thing I’ve always hated is that in the evenings, we’re both at home alone with our kids. Her husband works nights, so it’s like we’re both single moms. That makes it really hard for us to spend any decent amount of time together…

We saved very few things from the RK’s babyhood, but one thing we managed to hang on to was his old baby monitor. And I’ve been using it with the IB. Now I’m not a paranoid, hovering, smothering type mom. I don’t really have an issue with leaving my baby at home in bed while I go visit with the neighbors. A week or so ago, I decided to see if this antiquated baby monitor would work across the street. And it didn’t. In fact, I was picking up my neighbor’s daughter’s monitor! So I went back home, very bummed. So I decided that I was finally going to retire this monitor and buy a new one. I found one at Target that said it was digital (more secure – less potential from other monitors being able to eavesdrop), had fourteen different channels, and had an ‘out of range’ indicator on it. So that way I would know for sure if I wasn’t able to hear the IB wake up. It said it has a 900ft. range, and I was a little nervous about that. But when the IB’s bedtime rolled around, I took him back across the street, put him to bed just like any other night, and took the baby monitor back over there. And praise the Lord, it works!

So my point was that now maybe SH and I can spend more time together in the evenings after our kids are in bed! I don’t have a single issue with leaving the RK over here in bed alone…he’s a very responsible, mature child. And sometimes what we do is use our little walkie-talkies whenever he doesn’t want to come over there with me. But now I feel so good knowing that I will know if the IB needs me while I’m over there.

I had so much fun last night, though. This is such a dream come true for me…hanging out with my awesome neighbors on gorgeous spring evenings in this beautiful neighborhood in which I actually own a house! That is going to take me a while to get used to…hopefully we’ll be here long enough so that I can. I’m so terrified of not being able to stay here and having to sell.

One thought that entered my mind throughout the course of the evening was ‘Look at what my IH is missing out on.’ Ever since we moved to Michigan eight years ago, I have listened to him gripe, complain, moan and wail about how badly he wanted a house. And I quote, “I would just be happy if we had a house.” I wonder how many times I heard him express that over the years. And his reasons were so wrong. We were the only people we knew that didn’t own a house, and he was ashamed of that. He never wanted to invite anyone over. I tried to convince him that we were pretty lucky to have that crappy apartment…after all, it kept us warm, dry, and safe. But he just has no clue how to count his blessings, while still wanting and striving for better. It’s really quite sad. So he got his house…and now he’s chosen not to live in it! Wow…he must really hate me. And I didn’t even do anything wrong. Well, I know I have my issues to work on when it comes to this marriage, but the amount of fault in this whole ugly mess is definitely on his side of the coin.

So anyway, I’ve been really dragging ass today. I just can’t bounce back from nights like last night like I used to. I got quite a bit done today, to my surprise. I got most of the laundry done, and got the kitchen cleaned up. I had been planning on planting my burning bushes and hostas that I bought on Friday afternoon, but given that I have no clue what I’m doing when it comes to gardening/landscaping, the thought of venturing into that new frontier with a hangover was more than I could handle today. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous this week, so maybe I’ll wheel the IB’s playpen out onto the lawn while the RK is at school, and I’ll try to get my thumb to turn green.


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