Posted by: Tricia | Friday, June 15, 2007

Randomness, and finally my conversation with the IH

Alas, another Friday is upon us! My house was full of kids a little while ago…while I’m still watching the RK’s good buddy, I also watched the three little girls of my neighbor that lives down the block for the morning. And it went quite well, given that I don’t really have anything for little girls to play with. Well, except the IB. They LOVE him. He was sitting on the floor, surrounded by the three of them, loving the attention he was getting! I put him down for his morning nap after a while, and then we spent some time outside playing ball, decorating the driveway with chalk, soaking in a little sun.

This is going to become a regular thing…every other Friday, and instead of accepting payment, their mom has offered to watch my kids whenever I need her to. Sounds like a great idea to me!

I know the boys must be hungry for lunch, but I’m procrastinating offering them anything, because I have no earthly idea what to feed them. I’m all out of lunchmeat, and there isn’t really anything in the fridge that would be good for lunch. Argh. Maybe some PB&J…although the RK isn’t big on those.

Never heard from The Guy last night. Oh well. I’m trying not to freak about it. If he’s decided he doesn’t want to pursue this any further, that’s OK. I’m still hoping I’ll hear from him again, and perhaps be offered the chance to go out.

Wasn’t the NBA finals this year such a big ol’ dud? First of all, the Pistons didn’t make it. OK, so I’ll cheer for San Antonio. But they didn’t need me to. Blah. I hate sweeps. BO-RING! I watched maybe 5 minutes of the game last night, then switched over to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Then went to bed early…good for me!

OK, given that this post is taking quite a random nature, I’ll fill y’all in on the talk I had with the IH this past Sunday. He has dug himself into a huge amount of debt since we separated. All on new credit cards, or ones he has taken my name off of, so I’m not really pissed about it. Anyway, he proposed that he empty out his 401(k) to pay off all this debt and get himself out of his massive cavernous hole. He has to go through me, since I’m entitled to half of whatever’s in there. He even offered to pay off my bills with this money, although they’re not outrageous like his, and then he threw me this bone: “And then you could maybe even put a deck on the back of the house, or something.” That tempted me for about a nanosecond, but that’s it. He tried expressing to me the seriousness of this situation he’s in, appealing to my sympathetic nature. But what he’s learning is that that ship has sailed. My reply to this particular tactic was, and I quote: “Sorry to hear that, but I really don’t give a shit.” I told him I’d talk to my lawyer about it, and he said he’d text me with some hard numbers, etc.

In retrospect, I’ve decided to not go for this. For my sake, and partly for his, as well. I don’t think he has any idea yet of how he won’t have nearly as much cash-in-hand as he thinks he will…Uncle Sam is going to take a GINORMOUS chunk of it, and then there will be fees, penalties, etc. to the company managing the account. It’s a temporary fix for a permanent problem…

This man doesn’t know the meaning of delayed gratification. He’s always been all about the quick & easy fix, and just says to hell with the future consequences. He wanted and wanted and wanted a house for so long, but never did a damn thing to get him any closer to acquiring one. He’s talked for years and years about opening up some sort of fast food franchise, but that’s all it was….just talk. He doesn’t know how not to spend money, rationalizing away every purchase, most of them totally ridiculous. He has no concept of the future, just living life day-to-day with no certain goals or dreams.

And that right there was the death sentence for our marriage. One day he woke up and decided to put everything he had been blessed with, namely his family, on the line, so he started sleeping with another woman. And as his physical desires for her grew, he continually ignored the consequences of his actions, and he kept doing it. To hell with those who have loved him the most. And ultimately, he decided that none of this was worth giving up the mind-blowing sex he was getting from this woman (and I use that term loosely). Oh well, he says. Moving on… I just don’t get that. I’m very intrigued to watch how his life ultimately turns out. I know he’s not headed for anything he actually thinks he is.

So anyway, the next time I hear anything about this diabolical 401(k) plan, I’m gonna make the suggestion to him that he get a second job and develop a financial plan to get his debt paid off over a period of time. I doubt he can do it, though. I don’t really care what happens to him, as long as he’s continually able to make those child/spousal support payments. I know 30 years from now, he’d really be kicking himself for going through with something like this now. I hope he drops this stupid idea.

I hear the IB waking up…gotta run!



  1. He made his bed, make him sleep in it. We all reap what we sow. If IH needs a mommy let him turn to the one he’s sleeping with. Stick with your guns Tricia and take care of yourself.

  2. I’m proud of you for saying no, because yeah, it would get rid of debt, but it would screw both of you out of more money in the long run. Stay strong!

  3. […] like that, it’d be sending him the message that what his dad & this ‘woman’ (again, I use this word loosely) are doing is […]

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