Posted by: Tricia | Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Why is it that lessons are always learned the hard way? Ouch!

I haven’t heard from SH since our incident. Tonight her son and my son were out playing with some other neighbors, and I was getting the sprinklers going and then feeding the IB his bottle out in the garage while watching them all run around. I watched her house out of the corner of my eye, and noticed she decided to sit out in her garage and read a book. Hmmm….

I’ve been feeling like total crap for the past two days, wondering if I’ve lost yet another dear friend in my life. And not being totally sure why. So I sit down at the ol’ laptop, and notice that she’s posted a new blog on her myspace page. The title is “pain – feeling sorry for myself (just ignore).” She writes in poetry form, with the first word of each line being ‘pain is.’ This poor woman has so much nasty shit on her plate right now, it’s no wonder she’s having a bit of a meltdown! So maybe one third to one half way through, is this one:

“pain is needing a shoulder to cry on and that person wanting to argue about everything…”

And then a little bit further:

“pain is having no one to talk to…”

And then fourth from the bottom:

“pain is me that sits here on a computer pouring out my feelings because it’s really the only thing that will listen and not talk back…”

My heart just breaks for her right now, and I can’t stand the thought that I’m actually the cause of some of it! So I just sent her this email:

“SH, I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry about the other night. I really am. The issue doesn’t even concern us enough to get into such a debate.

I had no idea you had more weighing on your mind when you came over. I just thought it was for chit-chat! I am so sorry I couldn’t better sense your need and be there for you.

I’m learning my lesson from this. And if you get this email right away, and still feel like you wanna come over tonight, my door is open for you, OK? Even though it’s so late, maybe you’ll be able to sleep a little better if you stop by for a little while. My porch light is on…

Please forgive my insensitive ways, and know my heart is sharing your burdens!

With love,

Trish”

And right now, at ten ’til midnight, my door is open, my light is on, and I’m hoping and praying I’ll hear her walk in any minute.

Man, I feel like shit.

I’ll keep y’all updated…

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Responses

  1. Girl, just go in person. Take her a flower or a Starbucks – whatever her comfort thingy is. And hug her. She was probably hurting about something else so bad that a bird flying by could have tipped over the iceberg. But it doesn’t matter, you guys are friends. Go. See. Hug. It will pass.

    “Love can build a bridge…”

    It’s going to be okay.

  2. What Janie said.

    Girl knows her stuff, seriously.

  3. Thanks, guys! She’s actually not a very touchy-feely type, and that probably wouldn’t help any, unfortunately. I’ll be sure to let y’all know how this turns out.


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