Posted by: Tricia | Thursday, June 21, 2007

Give me a minute…or ten…

So far today has been one of those utterly lazy, disgustingly unproductive sorts of days. Well, I take that back. It has been somewhat productive, in that I started off the day by getting a phone call from my lawyer to go over the IH’s latest response to my terms of the divorce. That took about 40 minutes. Fun. What a great way to start off the day!

I asked her about the reality of my request to keep him from spending any of his parenting time with her, and she said it doesn’t look good. So we came up with this concession: Should the RK show any signs of emotional distress during his time with his dad and sig. other, the terms of the arrangement will be revisited and counseling sought. But I just can’t bear to think of when the time comes that the RK and the IB have their bags packed, waiting by the door, and I have to let them go off with their dad for that first weekend. I have a feeling I’ll be a total basket case that weekend. And I’ll definitely be praying for their emotional protection the whole time! (Shudder…I can’t stand the thought of that woman anywhere near my baby.)

So anyway, after I got off the phone with my lawyer, I started to realize I’m still not feeling all that great. My lower back really hurts, but not from an orthopedic standpoint…more like it’s my kidneys or something. I don’t have a whole lot of energy, and there’s something not quite right with my lower digestive system. I’m feeling better right now than I was earlier today, but I’m still moving quite slowly. I really need to get to the grocery store, and I’m hoping I’ll continue my improvement so perhaps the three of us can head out a little bit later. (The IB got all excited when I was looking through the grocery ads and let him know that Cheerios are on sale this week at Meijer! SCORE!)

I just put the IB down for a nap, and I think I’ll take this opportunity to do the same.

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Responses

  1. I can’t really understand what you are going through, but it is very similar to my mom’s divorce. My mom’s second marriage was to (who she thought) was her soulmate. She was completely dissolutioned when she found out he cheated on her. She fought her a$$ off to save the marriage, but a little over a year later, he cheated again and moved in with the woman.

    She had some kind of arrangement where he could not bring “that woman” around my little sister until they were engaged. Her argument was that Jess shouldn’t be exposed to random women in his life until it was serious. I don’t know if this arrangment was legal or just an agreement between the two of them.

    All I really wanted to say is that I think you are handling things really well. A lot of the comments you make are very similar to the way my mom felt. Unfortunately, it’s been over 10 years since their divorce and I don’t think she has fully let it go. She still can’t see my ex-stepfather in person without feeling physically ill. She was and still is very depressed about the whole thing. Try not to let that happen to you. šŸ™‚

    p.s. my blog isn’t listed on my profile, but if you want to read it the address is: http://www.dontuknowwhoiam.blogspot.com

  2. Well, aren’t you sweet! Thanks so much for sharing your mom’s experience with me. I’m beginning to feel like I’ve honestly, truly done all I can as far as the waning life of this marriage goes, and anything more would just be beating a dead horse. It is so hard to watch the father of my kids slowly self-destruct like this, though.

    And thanks for the encouraging words, too! I feel like I’m already heading down a path of renewal, although it’s still not without lots of pain and sadness. I’ve been capable of dealing with the IH on a face-to-face basis so far, and while I’ve been almost to the point of physical illness at times, I think I’ve come through the worst.

    I’m sorry to hear your mom is still having to deal with so much pain over what she went through with your stepdad. She’s due for her own renewal, and I pray that she finds her way to it. Every day we’ve got breath in our lungs is another opportunity to move one step closer to true happiness. I believe that to the depths of my very soul.

    I’ll go check out your blog! Thanks for the address!

  3. I sure hope you don’t have a bladder or kidney infection. Don’t let it go if you do, get yourself to the doctor!

  4. Get some cranberry juice, it’ll help if it’s a kidney infection.

    I can feel your pain and have gone through similar trauma. Unfortunately all the stress weakens your immune system making it easier to get sick so take care of your self Tricia. Be prayin for you.

  5. OK, so maybe my back pain is just the run-of-the-mill joint and muscle pain. But thanks for the advice…I’ll tuck it away for future reference!

    Bob, do you think it would be OK if perhaps I put a little vodka in that cranberry juice? šŸ˜‰


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