Posted by: Tricia | Friday, August 17, 2007

It’s my party…

We’ve made it through another week. Friday has once again arrived. And the boys are going with their dad again tonight.

And I’m dreading my weekend.

I have nothing to do, and no one to do it with.

I’ve more or less isolated myself from my neighbors. I think I’ve been letting my self-doubt and low self-esteem that have been raring their ugly heads get the better of me. Given that we all don’t really know each other all that well, it’s hard for me to expose the ‘real’ side of me. I just don’t feel like being very social when I feel like I’m doing such a horrible job at life.

Single mom friend #1 that lives down the street from me has found herself someone from one of those online dating sites, and I haven’t talked to her in quite a while. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I have quite vocally expressed my doubt about this new relationship she’s in….thing are moving way too fast. And when she talks about this guy, there’s no excitement in her voice. Yet within about a month or so of their meeting, she had already given him a key to her house. And I think she knows deep down that what I say is true, but has decided to continue on with it. So that’s one factor as to why I don’t feel comfortable getting in touch with her; that, and knowing that she’s probably already got plans with him, anyway.


I haven’t talked to single mom friend #2 in weeks and weeks. We’ve only spent a little bit of time together, and we just haven’t been in contact with each other for most of the summer. So I feel very uneasy about contacting her for fear of being rude and insensitive for wanting her to do something with me when I haven’t hardly talked to her this summer. Our sons have had kind of a weird relationship, too…they’ve had a couple of minor misunderstandings that have made things a bit awkward between the two of them. This last item, though, I think is a bigger deal to me than to the boys themselves.

Wow, reading that last paragraph in print makes it quite apparent how silly I’m being. But when I think about actually calling her up, I only think of her telling me she has her son this weekend, or has other plans, and I have to play it off like it’s no big deal. And then when she gets all apologetic, with that twinge of pity in her voice, my pathetic-meter shoots through the roof. But really….come on Trish! Stop it! If that’s the worst that could happen, it’s worth the risk! Suck it up!

My venting is done. I need to go get that sweet little IB up and fed!

By the way…if anyone from the greater southeast Michigan area is reading this, and wants to do something this weekend, email me…maybe we could meet up somewhere!

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Responses

  1. I think you should call up friend #2 and ask her to go to the Heritage Festival in Ypsilanti. It’s actually quite fun. Maybe if you invite her with a specific place in mind she’ll go, rather than a vague “You wanna hang out?”

  2. I checked out the festival’s website, and it looks like fun! Thanks for the suggestion!


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