Posted by: Tricia | Saturday, August 18, 2007

Unloading zone

Boy, do I get bogged down by my surroundings when my boys are gone. It’s like I can’t stand looking at all the same crap in all the same places around me, only reminding me of all the housework that needs to be done, and how I just don’t want to do it. I decide something must be done about this before I’m completely buried in the negative thoughts and feelings of failure & worthlessness that are slowly, stealthily sneaking up behind me, ready to attack.

So my answer? Head to Panera Bread! They too have free wi-fi, ya know. So here I am in an almost empty café, with a wonderful, frothy decaf vanilla latte and my trusty little laptop, which, by the way, I paid off this past week. And without paying a lick of interest to boot. Yeehaw!

The only downside of this is that they close in less than half an hour, and I’m actually contemplating heading towards downtown Ann Arbor, where I know of another café offering free wi-fi that is bound to stay open later than this. And besides, I love downtown Ann Arbor. You just never know what you’re going to see. The only thing that worries me is the lack of store-front parking, and let’s just say that walking a block or two from the nearest parking garage on a Saturday night with a laptop in my arms doesn’t sound all that appealing.

Yeah, OK…I’m not going. At least not downtown.

The IB’s first birthday is Monday, and it’s actually a source of those ill thoughts I mentioned earlier. Because I’m just not up to having any kind of celebration where I actually invite people over, but then I feel like I’m not doing enough to mark this momentous occasion. In all actuality, there’s really no one to invite. First birthdays are usually reserved for extended family, of which I have none. I couldn’t get my mom to come help me with the RK’s birthday party, so I didn’t even bother asking her if she wanted to come for the IB’s. I’m thinking right now all I’m going to do is get the IB a little cake to make a mess out of, and the RK and I will celebrate with him. That just seems so incredibly lame, though! At least the IB won’t care.

I’m also having a bit of a meltdown as the clock is rapidly ticking down to when I’m finally gonna have to jump back in to the world of the gainfully employed. And you have no idea how this scares the shit out of me, on so many levels. First and foremost, I absolutely, positively am AGAINST putting the IB in daycare. I can’t stand the thought of it! And I certainly don’t want to have to shell out for it, either! I’ve made up my mind that I need to have educated myself with all my options and have at least a basic idea of what I’m going to do for this by the time school starts back (Sept. 4). My first choice would be to find a nanny that would come to my home, instead of me having to take the IB to wherever. That way, if the RK gets sick and has to stay home from school, I don’t have to miss work. And I don’t know if this is true, but it seems that a nanny would be cheaper than a daycare center since there wouldn’t be any overhead to pay for. But bringing a virtual stranger into my home like that certainly has its drawbacks, which if you’ve ever watched any given newsmagazine program, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

My next task before school starts is to somehow put together a résumé that makes me look somewhat intriguing as an employee, even though I have no bachelor’s degree, and my last job worth mentioning was waiting tables, which was more than a decade ago. I’m not setting my goals all that high, though. I just want to get something where I can start at the bottom, proving my abilities as I go, steadily working my way up. I only hope it comes as easily as typing the sentence did.


OK, so I’m back home now. I bailed out of Panera and headed to another cafe that said they had free wi-fi, but something was seriously wrong with their router. It was wigging out, and all I could ever get was a local connection. I notified the guy working there, and he told me to reboot. And if that didn’t work, he’d reset the router. That didn’t work either, so I gave up and came back to the boring old house. Now that I’m here, looking around at my plain white walls, I want to paint. I already have an idea as to what colors I want, and now I just need to put in a call to my oh-so-helpful field manager to get the builders to come fix the nail pops and other new house woes that rare their ugly heads (no pun intended) in the first couple of years. My plan was to try to get the downstairs painted in the fall, anyway…after the temperatures start cooling off and I can open all the windows to eliminate the concentration of paint fumes. Then again, that could make it more interesting…

Think I’ll knock out a few pages of A Thousand Splendid Suns.



  1. […] remote blog post, but I’m not at the coney island. I’m at Panera. (Come to think of it, I have posted from here before.) I think I might make Panera my new favorite out-of-the-house wi-fi spot, because I’ve […]

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