Posted by: Tricia | Saturday, October 13, 2007

My secret world of blogging

Wow, in my blogger life, the last couple of days have been quite eventful. For one thing, I’m approaching my 100th post. That deserves a big “WOW!” I really feel like I’m falling into my unique and personal blogging groove, and I hope I’m able to continue to keep it up for a long time.

I am an extremely social creature. I thrive on interaction with others. And all that I’ve been through has put me in a place of virtual non-interaction. My family is small. I have my mom, who is the only person I’m related to that I keep in touch with on any sort of a regular basis. And I talk to her a few times a week. My dad has passed, my half-brothers were already moved out of the house when I was born, and to add to that, I don’t really relate to or agree with their life perspectives and outlooks. There’s really not a lot of love lost between us…there’s just…nothing. I have an aunt who lives on the Texas Gulf coast, but we’re not in frequent touch. And that’s about it.

For a decade, I was married to a man with a major anti-social streak. Funny, huh? He managed to keep a close circle of friends something non-existent in our life together. When we finally did meet another family that he could spend a lot of time with and ‘let in,’ so to speak, he ends up sleeping with the wife and leaving me for her.

His insecurities were contagious, I’ll admit, and I went along with this inability to let anyone in, but looking back now, I resisted it, too. I think the end of our marriage had a lot to do with this, actually.

Less than two years ago, we moved. Our neighborhood is one of ‘The Starter House.’ It’s full of young marrieds with young kids. Just perfect for us!

But now, I’m a single mom surrounded by beautiful, happy families. Not exactly the best scenario for creating close friendships. I have some wonderful neighbors, but my situation in life has made it difficult to find my place among them on a regularly social basis. They all know why my garage is only half-full now, but they aren’t making much effort to include me in the various neighborhood goings-on. And I don’t fault them for that, because I realize this is a touchy situation. How to proceed with a veritable stranger in a situation such as mine is uncharted and choppy waters for most.

So I have turned to the virtual neighborhood that’s only found within the millions of pixels and neverending combination of letters and numbers that only exist when I sit down on this love seat and open up this laptop. And it has been my very necessary outlet. Everything that I wish I had someone sitting next to me on my couch to talk about with, I’ve expunged on here.

And although I’ve never seen the faces of the recipients of my thoughts and stories (at least not in person), I have made the dearest of friends through this venture of mine. You guys have been walking with me through my stages of change and healing, offering your support, your encouragement, your words of caution, your ear. And I am in awe of the ‘leg up’ it’s given me as I move into this new season of life!

Nobody I know in real life has any idea this blog exists. Not even the RK. This is my own private thing, where I can speak freely about whatever is on my mind. Which means that you guys are all a secret of mine, too…kinda cool, huh?

You guys have no idea how much I love you. Thanks for finding the tales of my life as interesting as I find yours. Thanks for taking the time and putting the thought it takes into making your comments. It’s given me a sense of existence during a time in my life where I’ve felt very invisible and alone!

I actually feel like a bona fide blogger now! My hit counter has been going up, with my daily average steadily increasing all the time.

One recent reason for this last area of growth of my blog, and really the main blogging ‘event’ I alluded to earlier, is this post by Eric. This note of recognition touched me so deeply. I’ve been stuck in a way of life with an overall sense of feeling very invisible and unimportant, and this has done so much to show me that I am visible, and what I have to say just might be important! The fact that something I wrote could have such an effect on someone I’ve never even met, to compel them to devote a big chunk of a post to little ol’ me and my little ol’ musings, is a huge boost to my self-esteem. Thanks, Eric. 🙂

To all of you who are reading from the barren and beautiful land of West Texas: I will be back in town. I don’t know when, I don’t know for how long, but I will come. It is my home, and in the decade I’ve been gone, I haven’t been able to stay away for any longer than 18 months. And when I do come, we are all having supper at a location to be chosen by me. 😉 Get ready! I’ll be sure to give you as much advance notice as I can to aid in getting it all figured out.

There are also a couple of my fellow bloggers who are going through some pretty severe difficulties in their lives right now. So severe are these difficulties, they have closed their comments section to their recent posts addressing them. So since I can’t offer my own words of encouragement and support on their pages, I’ll do it right here. You know who you are. I love you both, and I hope it helps in some small way to know that you are in my thoughts today, and especially my prayers. Blessings!

Did y’all notice that I’ve been working on my blog’s layout? I added a picture to the title bar. Quite appropriate, huh? And what I think is pretty cool about that picture is the fact that I took it!

I’m off to fold laundry, and the Longhorns are kicking off in a few short minutes. Have a wonderful weekend!

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Responses

  1. Hey, girl, you are muchly loved in this ol’ West Texas group of bloggers. When you get ready to come home for that visit, let me know, I might happen to have a couple of FF passes (if you’re a Southwest kinda gal)! Happy 100th post!

  2. Have you ever heard that “people are funny?” Way before your time, Art Linkletter had a weekly T.V. show of that title…and it is so true!!

    Concerning the secrecy of your blog, for example. You could advertise it in the National Inquirer, in the Washington Post, or have commercials on local T.V. stations, and guess what? The family, friends that you think would read it…would not! Of my family, I have one son-in-law that reads it religiously and has fun interacting; one daughter that reads religiously, but doesn’t interact; everyone else is hit or miss…mostly miss. Yes, you’ll wind up making virtual friends all over the world and that’s what makes blogging enjoyable and fulfilling.

    But, you’re young. Please don’t let the blog world become your primary outlet. There are people all around you that are seeking the same things…friendships, relationships, love, understanding, companionship. You’ll find them…just make yourself available. God has a plan for you!!

    Eric’s post: My gosh!! I wish I had written that!! Next best thing is to put the link to his post on my blog! Do you think he would mind?

    Your post has been such a blessing to me this morning! The transparency of your thoughts is awesome!

    I said before, don’t let blogging become your primary outlet, BUT DON’T STOP BLOGGING!! You will reach many others that can benefit from your experience and wisdom.

  3. “…Please don’t let the blog world become your primary outlet.”

    Ummm…In_spired? Remember, I just joined an online dating site! Ha!

  4. Oh…. yeah! That did slip my mind. I don’t think I’ll have to worry about you becoming a blogging recluse!! (lol)

  5. Tricia, you’re more than welcome, and I do hope you’ll soon visit West Texas and give us another good excuse for a blogger get-together!

    And that is a quite excellent photograph in your header, by the way.

  6. Sounds like one more person moving out of Michigan some day….

  7. Wow, we have a bit in common when it comes to our families. I hadn’t realized that.

    And by the way, it does help. Thank you.

  8. that is a sweeetttttt pic! and a sweet post, congrats on hanging in there and keeping the thoughts coming at us. Hope you stay for a good long time, get to the 500th like me..?

  9. Buffalodickdy:

    Eh, my roots are planted for now. Some day, though….

    Ba Doozer:

    Show off.

  10. Hi 🙂

    Just wanted to let you know that I found your blog and would like to continue reading it. Is it ok if I link to yours from mine? I’m so happy to find someone similar to me in this new blogging world. I just started my blog last month. I’m 40 and single too, and my blog is a totally anonymous blog that is sort of about the single thing.

  11. Welcome, Lone Chatelaine! Thanks for introducing yourself, and I’m so glad you want to stick around.

    Again I say, Welcome!


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