Posted by: Tricia | Wednesday, November 21, 2007

My heart overflows

Exactly 52 weeks ago today, I had my husband of nine and a half years served with divorce papers.

Thanksgiving 2006 was the first one not spent with him in attendance in ten years, maybe a couple more than that. And it was actually a really nice day. SH was gracious enough to invite the boys and me to her family’s festivities at her mom’s house for the day. And her mom and dad were indeed just as gracious, if not more so, for welcoming us into their home and including us as family for the day. And really, I have only nice, happy memories of the day, despite the overhanging heartbreak of what I knew had gone on just the day before.

I remember pondering what my life would look like a year from then. And it’s hard for me to believe I’ve arrived at that time! While the envisioned particulars don’t match the real ones, I think emotionally and spiritually I’m where I hoped I’d be. I still have my occasional rough days (or weeks), but for the most part, I’m happy, my boys are happy, the emotional paralysis has lifted, and my life, while still somewhat uncertain and far from perfect, is fun.

I’m proud that I’ve managed to leave that old stifling and limiting comfort zone behind.

I’m proud of all that I’ve learned in the past year. In so many different subjects.

I’m proud of finding the courage and daringness (and yes, that’s a real word…I looked it up) to be proactive in bringing new people into my life, and getting myself back out there into the busy, functional, exciting, rewarding world that had been stolen from me much longer ago than I realized.

I’m proud that my vision has been un-blinded to my potential. And what I really deserve.

I’m free to be me.

Thanks be to God!

…for His unwavering strength. That He so willingly shares.
…for His neverending comfort.
…for His unshakeable, unbreakable, perfect love.
…for His always adequate provision.

Tomorrow, the RK, the IB and I will not be going anywhere. Thanksgiving 2007 is going to be spent here in this house, just the three of us. And while this would normally be very disturbing and depressing to me (and it got the better of me for a while a few days back), I’ve decided to do what I have to do to make this a special day for this family. I’m cooking the whole shebang. I started preparing dishes last night, and have continued throughout the day today.

My mom’s dressing, which is my absolute favorite part of the feast, and it just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without it? Check.

The lime jello/pineapple/cream cheese/chopped pecans dish which my brother dubbed “Green Gunk” before I was even born? Check.

Pecan pie? Check.

The sweet potatoes are baked, and will soon be peeled and mashed into a massive quantity and variety of sugar that somehow can be called a ‘casserole.’

And this year, I am once again stepping out of a comfort zone.

Every year of my adult life thus far, I have managed to get myself out of preparing a turkey. But this year, if we’re gonna have turkey, it’s up to me! And I was pleasantly surprised to find a cute little 9lb. turkey at the grocery store on Sunday! So I’ve been studying my Betty Cr0cker and Better H0mes and Gardens cookbooks, and I’m jumping in to the world of body cavities, giblets, and all that other turkey stuff.

I had another job interview this afternoon. It was for a ‘customer service representative’ job with a company I had emailed my resume to sometime last week. Yesterday, I received a call to come in and interview. We scheduled the meeting for 1:00 today, and when she told me where this place was located, I just laughed. I can’t remember if I mentioned before how that previous job I interviewed for was only a mile and a half from my house. Well, this company is once again just down the road! So I got a neighbor to watch the boys for a while this afternoon, and went. I was surprised to find three other women already in there filling out the same paperwork I was handed as I entered. As the process went on, I learned that they’re interviewing an entire mob for this one position! Oh great. We were told that by sometime next week we’d hear back if they wanted to call us back in for a second interview. She also mentioned they’d be calling only four of us back.

We had the chance to speak with the interviewer on a one-on-one basis, and then with her supervisor after that. And I could tell they both really liked me, and while nothing’s a sure thing, I walked out of there feeling pretty encouraged that I could be expecting a phone call next week. And I drove home with the anxiety already starting to well in me, and realized this was going to be there throughout the long holiday weekend.

But the anxiety was quickly squashed around 7:15 this evening, when my phone rang. It was the interviewer, on her cell phone, as she was walking out of the building to her car. She was calling because she was leaving on a business trip in the middle of next week, and…

…wait for it…

…she wanted to go ahead and schedule my second interview!!!!!!!!!!!

YES! YES! YES!

So 11:00 Monday morning, I’ll be heading back in!

What an amazing joy this is. Just to know that this girl is appealing as a potential employee. And to have the encouraging thought that maybe my days of total financial dependence are coming to an end. How great it is that I don’t have to have that pit of anxiety nagging at me during my holiday.

Tomorrow could easily pass by as just another day on the calendar in this household. But it won’t.

Tomorrow, my boys and I are going to Give Thanks.

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Responses

  1. Congrats, Tricia! I think of you and pray for you often. Sounds like it will be a fun day at your house – and tackling the turkey – you are a brave one!

    Have a very, very blessed Thanksgiving…and by the way, I’m very proud of you!

  2. Aw!…I love your post! It brought tears to my eyes 🙂

    I’m so happy for you. What a great day Thanksgiving is for you! So many good things happening, and you’re safe, and you’ve got your babies with you, and y’all are going to have the most special day of the whole world tomorrow.

    *big BIG hugs for you*…You are an inspiration and blessing all within yourself.

  3. Amen….and, A.M.E.N.!!!

  4. Congratulations…and I hope your Thanksgiving is and continues to be a blessed one! (The Cowboys are winning, you know. 😉

  5. Wishing you all the best on the 2nd interview! Your menu looked like it could be named “Transplanted Texan Thanksgiving Feast!” Hope everything came out perfect- enjoy!

  6. hey! I had my husband served last year too this time. except we’re still not divorced. give me 3 weeks! woot!

  7. awesome…hope you get it~!


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