Posted by: Tricia | Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My, how the times have changed

Remember this? One of my favorite parts:

“I’m so afraid [the RK]’s going to start liking it better with his dad, too. Last weekend, they went out to eat at Red Lobster. The RK has been begging me to go out to eat there, and I always say no because it’s so expensive. They go to the pool at the fancy-shmancy health club they belong to. And Lord knows what else. Their father has no concept of how not to spend money, while things around here are pretty tight.”

And remember this?

This man [the IX] has gone hog-wild spending money to the point it makes me wonder if he has some sort of undisclosed source of income. I mentioned in passing a few posts back that he had bought a new car. A brand new 2007 Nissan Pathfinder. This is his third new car in as many years. But this particular type of vehicle he needs now. After all, he now has as many as four kids to haul around. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a Sirius satellite radio box under the front passenger seat. And this last time, he had a bike rack installed on the back. (I asked him if he had a bike now, and he said, no, it’s just for the kids’s bikes. But then the RK mentioned the other day that his dad and she ride bikes with the kids, too. And after some questioning, it was quite evident that these bikes were not rented.) Oh yes…he went to the Tim & Faith concert, too. (OK…I’ll let that one slide…I went to the Rascal Flatts concert the following week.) And not to mention the new shoes I’ve seen him in, new clothes, etc. And oh yes…he received some sort of new credit card in the mail here at the house not too long ago. I wonder if there was one in there with her name on it, too.

I need to let it go. He’s digging his own grave, and I just need to summon the patience to wait for it to all come caving in on him. No, actually, I just need to




The RK had a Cub Scout meeting last night, and the IX came and took him. They got back a little after 8:00, just as I was about to go put the IB in bed. The IX asked if he could talk to me for a minute, and I send the boys upstairs. Here’s how the conversation went:

IX: “Would it be at all possible for you to let me have back a child support payment?”

Me: “No, I really can’t. I’m really struggling to get these mortgage payments made. And the fringe expenses are hurting me right now…clothes for the boys, trombones, that sort of thing.”

IX: “OK. Then do you have any cash you’d let me have to go get some gas?”

Me: “No, I have no cash. But you can go fill up on my credit card, I guess.”

IX: “Thanks. I’ll be right back. Now I’ll be able to come this weekend to take [the RK] to sell popcorn (for Cub Scouts).”

In the time I’ve been away from here, the IX had to file for bankruptcy. That Pathfinder proved itself to be not that great of an idea, and he had to default on the lease. (He showed up driving a brand new Honda Civic, though. And I learned later on that he got two Civics…his & hers.) Then when Nissan wanted all the money he owed them, he had to file. I had to run to the Secretary of State to put the title to my car in my name. And he’s been swamped in lawyer fees, etc.

He actually backed out on taking the boys a couple of weekends ago “for financial reasons,” according to his text message.

Now my financial situation isn’t comfortable, but it certainly isn’t anywhere close to his. I’ve actually been mulling over the idea of becoming an eB@y regular. Or Cr@igslist. There’s all kinds of Indycar memorabilia in the basement that the IX brought home over the years, that I bet I could get a pretty good chunk of coin for. And in my mind, I’ve always thought that I would just go down there and do it, not telling the IX or giving him an opportunity to take any of it.

But out of the goodness of my heart, last night I offered him the chance to do just that. He didn’t sound too excited about the notion, and then he said he’s working on getting a night job at that delivery company that have the big brown trucks. I told him that while I don’t have much to offer financially, one thing I will do is take over the RK’s Cub Scout activities if the IX will have to be at work.

Even if I was able to, I wouldn’t give him money. I’m working so hard to get on my own feet financially, and the way I see it, my giving him money would be a bail-out. I thought I was more than generous in letting him fill his tank on my credit card, but it sounds like the IX might not have been able to make it to work if I hadn’t, let alone come pick up the RK this weekend. And one thing’s for sure…I’ll help him make sure he keeps that job. Because it’ll have serious repercussions for us if he loses it.

But ya know what? This feels good. Heh. I know I know, that’s not very nice. But I’m a big believer in “You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.” So seeing his careless and frivolous spending habits finally catch up to him is quite a reward for me. Seriously, though…I hope he learns some better habits from it all.

Gotta run get ready for work.



  1. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase about something that doesn’t kill us making us stronger. I’ve always kind of liked the one that said, “If something doesn’t kill you, then that means you’re going to live long enough to see it come down another way.”

    I kind of feel like that applies to you now, my dear 🙂

  2. Hey! Just sayin’ hi after going back on an old post of mine. Hope all is okay..

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